Drake Enters MDMA-Assisted Therapy after Kendrick Traumatizes Him


    Aubrey Drake Graham has reportedly entered MDMA-assisted therapy after getting mercilessly destroyed and traumatized by Kendrick Lamar in their recent high profile rap beef.

    The “Hotline Bling” singer found himself completely out of his depth in the recent squabble, ultimately sustaining unprecedented emotional damage and seeking out a series of professionally guided MDMA sessions to restore him to his full sense of bravado and clout.

    “I’m really ’bout that life, but even actors-turned-gangsters raised in the suburbs need to recognize when they’ve been bodied and hold that L with pride” says Graham.

    A spokesperson for Drake confirms that he will be donating a significant percentage of his end of the royalties made from the Kendrick beef streams to other victims of severe burns in the rap industry.

    “It’s a bittersweet moment to be joining Meek Mill, Nick Cannon, and numerous other notable rappers who have been definitively taken down in a rap battle. I’ll be donating royalties from this obviously manufactured industry feud I recently lost to a special charity set up to help out with these kinds of high profile L’s” says the Degrassi alumni.

    When pressed for comment about how the treatment is going, Drake paused from rubbing his lemur fair vest and asked for a lollipop.