A man who has reportedly been to the Amazon rainforest four times to sit with ayahuasca has defied all convention and single-handedly enacted a unifying world peace through establishing dominance over a stranger in the comment section of a Facebook post he didn’t agree with.
Dirk Diggler of Cedar Rapids, Iowa has done what political leaders and noble emissaries the world over have never been able to achieve with only a few strokes of a keyboard.
“I know better than anyone exactly what needs to happen in order for everyone else to pull their heads out of their asses. And since social media is the only place where I can conveniently bicker with strangers or people I’ve met like twice in real life, I used every opportunity available to me to get my point and counterpoints across to them in the comment section and DM’s of various platforms.”
Mr. Diggler plans to continue his social media crusade for truth and justice indefinitely, regardless of the peaceful conditions that his aggressive persuasiveness have superimposed on the world that he has saved.
“I took 5 minutes to congratulate myself for being the top dawg in the spiritual game, and for solving all the problems of the world because I’m him. It’s actually pretty boring here in Utopia, so I’m going to seek out some foreign social media like WeChat and QQ to start stirring the spiritual transcendence pot there as well.”