The streaming giant Netflix has announced pre-production on ‘America’s Next Top Shaman’, a series documenting the rise of neoshamanic capitalism and the brave shills at the forefront of this extraordinary movement.
“We no longer have to hire writers, producers, skilled actors, or any of the traditional roles associated with the production of world class entertainment” says Netflix CEO Greg Peters from his mega yacht in Santorini.
“We just dangle some Polka Dot mushroom chocolate in front of clout thirsty internet micro celebrities with over the top personal brands, and make them fight to the death for their position as the next top shaman in an overpriced retreat center tucked away in some backwater banana republic” continues Peters.
“The entertainment scripts itself” he says while finishing an adrenochrome and cordyceps infused glass of champagne.
America’s Next Top Shaman will be holding casting auditions in Ibiza, Tulum, Cabggu and Vencie Beach throughout the next few months, where people who already perfectly fit the bill are currently actively practicing their neoshamanic roles while adhering to cutthroat capitalist practices disguised as love and light.
