Microdosing Cat Nip Deemed Effective In Preventing Insane Behavior of Cats

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A new study out of Turkey has found that microdosing Cat Nip may be effective in treating the insane fucking erratic behavior of cats.

“Cats are generally unwilling research subjects because they do whatever they want all the time, which doesn’t always include adhering to best practices in double blind placebo controlled clinical trials” said Dr. Hakan Yilmeowz, Director of Feline Behavioral Studies at the University of Taksim and Principal Investigator in the trials.

“Cat Nip has long been used as an agent of feline chaos, but we wanted to know what would happen if we put them on a regular regiment of sub-perceptual doses of it.” continued Dr. Yilmeowz. “Instead of acting like little ornery devils ready to fuck up some curtains and knock over potted house plants, they became super chill and affectionate creatures worthy of our often irrational affection for them.”

Dr. Yilmeowz and his team have been combing the back alleys of Istanbul trying to coax the cities out of control cat population into a second iteration of the study to determine how effective microdosing cat nip can be at scale.

“If this works, cats and humans may finally be able to enjoy the same docile relationship as dogs and humans already do.”