World’s Oldest Dog Attributes Longevity to ‘Two Days On One Day Off’ Microdosing Protocol

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Bobi, a 31-year-old Portuguese pooch trained to guard livestock, has officially been recognized as the world’s oldest dog by the Guinness Book of World Records.

Bobi started microdosing at the age of 11, and has reaped considerable health benefits from this practice in the two decades since then.

“He started doing 3 days on and 2 days off, but after a couple years he decided to restructure his dosing protocol” said Bobi’s owner through a translator.

“Once Bobi dialed in the sweet spot at two days on, one day off, we knew this pup was going to be around for a long time.”

When asked where Bobi sources the micro, his human replied “This is Portugal. Drugs are decriminalized. Bobi can source microdoses a thousand different ways and the system works.”