Aaron Rodgers will be the MVP of the 2030 ‘Enhanced Games‘ Spirit Bowl according to an ayahuasca vision he downloaded during a medicine circle in Taos last Sunday.
“Most people probably haven’t even heard of the ‘Enhanced Games’ yet, but I’ve seen my future written in the stars after a double cup of La Madre Medicina” says the New York Jets quarterback and designated psychonaut.
The Enhanced Games are a newly announced drug-fueled analogue to the Olympics in which microdosers, roid ragers and human-machine hybrids with Blackrock Neurotech implants are encouraged to eschew the spirit of competition and sportsmanship in favor of gladiator style death sport hopped up on patented novel molecules developed in house by the same people who own the league.
“I’ve always been a free spirit, but soon I’ll also be a free agent” continued Rodgers.
“It’s my intention therein to sign with an ‘Enhanced Games’ affiliated team, regardless of the sport.”
Billionaire philanthropist Peter Thiel and psychedelic yacht aficionado Christian Angermayer have joined Australian businessman Aron D’Souza in establishing the ‘Tour de France of doping events’, which will ironically also probably feature Lance Armstrong at some point.
“In the Enhanced Games, the fundamental mantra is ‘My Body, My Choice'” says a spokesperson for the league who chose to remain anonymous because their salary is currently paid in schedule 2 drugs rerouted from a Phase 3 clinical trial.
When pressed for comment on why Angermayer has been so adamant about rigidly hierarchically controlling psychedelics in a medicalized context given the positioning of the Enhanced Games on ‘My Body, My Choice’, the spokesperson was observed to be drooling from the right corner of their mouth as a mildewy glaze set in over their eyes.
