Members of Meth Church Enraged to Learn There is No Actual Meth in Their Sacrament


    Members of the Milwaukee Meth Assembly have been left scratching their heads really really hard after laboratory analysis of a sample of the churches supposed meth revealed no traces of actual Methamphetamine. Faith in the power of the cherished Central Nervous System stimulant and praise band rocket fuel sacrament consumed by congregants of the MMA church has been the primary animating force behind the multi-day ecstatic extravaganzas put on by the church.

    When samples of the ‘meth’ were tested by a local non-profit group, it was discovered that the sacrament was in fact composed exclusively of Drano chemical drain cleaner.

    Church authorities declined to comment, but inside sources say that they’re crossing their fingers that everyone will forget by this Wednesday and be back again like clockwork for next weekend’s service.